I have not written in my journal for a long time. I think this past year has been without my realizing it a wilderness retreat with my beloved Lily. I am pretty sure in hindsight the greater reality of which I AM and I am a part was busy with my local self wandering around looking like my activity of life was normal. Not realizing it was in no way normal. AND, in hindsight, very beautiful and important.
In remembrance, about the first of the year all my attention was on Lily. Not worried excepted worried about her dying which is a human norm. More…without my realizing it creating a new relationship with her that, not only does not require physical form, operates beyond it. I would take time with both of us being with each other as if our sovereign immortal natures were gazing at each other through our mortal eyes. I would intentionally generate tactile memory stroking her fur and consciously checking my hands and my face and my legs and when she curled against my solar plexus to see if they were recording the physical memory. This is very important. The only reason we are physical is for the sensations, the sensory delight, the joy of experiencing our immortality in various short term forms. I would watch her special moves that opened up my heart and my spirit and basically record them over and over and over again. Mostly I did it because I knew when she passed I was not to suffer and to not be traumatized. At a lesser consciousness level, I did not want to suffer. At a higher consciousness level, I have already experienced my son Jeremy when he left his mortal coil, he did not leave our connection and was the source of my moving from a constricted terrifying limitation of perception mostly asleep frantically looking for what I was as part of a greater whole and unable to find it.
When he died at 5 years old, I transcended these limitations for sure but I also gained a hundred pounds as the flesh and the spirit were not in harmony. That is when I realized why people spent years in caves or ashrams because the decrepancy between the mortal and immortal natures was to off balance in the world we were born into. In 1979 when Jeremy died, my consciousness blew open and pretty much what you have seen over the past 51 years is my establishing this awakened consciousness into the norm of what human beings has held reality to be.
Now after two months of experiencing such an extraordinary elevation of consciousness, I am beginning to be suspicious that something beyond breaking through the border and beyond into these realms that are only connection, only unity, only oneness…not other than that.
Now I am beginning to notice is that I am actually at the border and that there is an activity I am in that is giving me a smile and possibly an ah ha. I posted to someone below.
I don’t know how to language what I am experiencing which is incredibly real in ways I never thought possible. I have been with you and your body I think we could say at the threshold. i.e. Damanhur. It wasn’t intentional. Nothing is anymore I just find I am places being there on behalf of I think immortality. It is really strange, but it feels like what I really am. I did not know about your body but I have been in, as best I can state, a dialogue at the border I.e. threshold where I was actively reviewing crossed lines, tangled webbing, probably egigenetics, etc. it is a place I am now that literally is where everything operates on behalf of all life-immortality and sort of by being there corrects ambiguity. Best I can language but so exquisite there. I was so glad to find you (whatever a you is) there a few days or weeks ago. That is all I know.
I am so excited. I am in a living reality where the immortal and the mortal are gaining strength, stamina, and capacity for their oneness again … where the spirit and the flesh are gaining strength, stamina, and capacity for their unity body again… where the temporal and the eternal are in connection again.
More as it unfolds…