2022.12.17. It wasn’t until tWitch died that…..
It wasn’t until tWitch died that what the people who are my personal caretakers have said to me came home to me. I don’t know if people realize the stress on people who know life is meant to be beautiful and extraordinary. I read an article today that someone posted about how vaccines, modern drugs, the automaticity of work, work, work and do, do, do is part of a reality that is taking us down. In the work of Tantra Maat, we call this a reality of separation. But I have been told that it is particularly hard for those who know this isn’t real and find themselves in heartbreak even though their personal lives are beautiful. This is the power of connection and also that bane of connection. With no place to go when you are in your heart optimistic, when you know the beauty of life, and the wonder of it all, and your love for those around you and those you meet is beautiful and strong. You find yourself carrying the empathic response to the collective heartbreak of the planet with no place to weep, to cry, to feel the loss…well it is life-defeating…I know. Can I even dare to write here that my heartbreak at the collective level has had me wake every morning sad beyond measure with. my heart hurting with the pain of every loss of every human being whose time is NOT to die? I have seen and been shown 2021-2027 so I can hold myself true even when I am not waking up into feeling like I want to be here. I generate it in how I do my day. Going into beauty, taking care of what I love, and reading the WhatsApp threads and social media of my friends. Tending to life while at the same time no longer driven to tend to what weakens the joy of being here. My caretakers call it many things. They say I have carried the world on my shoulders long enough. I need to find ways to be cared for now. They say there is a strategy in which that which goes against life seeks to snuff out the hearts of the Lightbringers, the kind, the tenderhearted, the joyful. They say I suffer from heartbreak and that is a beautiful thing because it is real and not make-believe as the world would have it. 40% of the USA that is considered affluent suffer from mental depression. All I know is that I want to thank tWitch for the statement he made and I wish he hadn’t had to make it. It slammed me into the clarity of what I am feeling even in the midst of my precious personal life and I am grateful. His loss can give us the resolve to not let ourselves be taken down by what has undermined life on this planet for a long time. I am clear it is in its end of days. I was shown how hard it would get emotionally and in our gut and our solar plexus and in our hearts. That is what the prophetics have been saying for the last two years. Build your emotional palette. Choose what gives you life in a minute-to-minute way as what has been demonizing life here is in its final days. The dark before the light. The storm before the calm. Please hold on and build a life where you are standing. I wish I had a way to tell his wife and children that it had nothing to do with them. It is the final vestiges of realities that have had us live in separation from who we are and how we were designed to live here that I promise is dying. We just have to hold on and not die from it.
I love you. Tantra Maat