2023.08.14. Survival Wimpiness

I am naming a new bug! Survival wimpiness!

Let me tell you a story. If I had written this story yesterday, I promise you I would have been stoic, a bit downtrodden, scared for sure, and the guardians of the gates of the aberration of the illusion would be taunting me with betrayal, abandonment, and rejection.

Only once in my life has my body exploded with the need to expunge everything. That was when I crossed the Texas-New Mexico border several years ago, got to the hotel room, and spent a very long day in the bathroom. This was part of an otherworldly experience I had experience in Walmart in the parking lot. I usually don’t write about these things because it could pigeonhole me as crazy, but given all the other crazy conversations out there might as well add my own.

This is the short story of that moment in time. I felt very eerie driving down Route 35 in Texas. I don’t think many people ever recognize when they have entered into the worlds between worlds. These are where energies both pro and against life influence as well as support human beings. My supportive structure of my ‘between’ worlds and otherworldly worlds is connected to the primordial and cosmic realms of the beloveds…where as I said on a call the other day, ” The realms of the beloved is where love is enjoyed for the sake of love not without any need for any reciprocity.” The Beloveds

I stray. I suppose the new agers would say I need to only think ‘light’ but this is a light and dark planet, a balance of opposites planet and when the balance goes haywire, the planet and the cosmos rebalance…hence our present dilemma. Ah but back to my story: I felt weird driving down the highway and was particularly struck by two gigantic road signs one right after the other. The first one said, “Welcome to God’s Country!” The second one said, “Buy your own safari country where hunting is a pleasure.”

Of course, the word ‘killing’ fluttered over the word ‘hunting’ unnerving me a bit. I settled in where I was visiting and went to Walmart because that is where the fed ex store was. As I went to get out of the car, a black swirling energy surrounded my head and I felt it trying to change me in my brain. I filled with terror. Then as quickly as that occurred I felt a Self of me blast through the impending capture of my soul and hold me. Ask Georgia or whoever else I talked to that day. I was different. I was a Guardian out beyond what was and is happening here.

Shaken but held in what felt was my Guardian Self effervescent with light, I still got a present for a precious young man I was staying with, and in line, I heard about Dirty Dog podcasts. As LOUD as you could imagine with no one looking up or finding the conversation strange or crazy two women were talking the podcast where he speaks about the alien children doing hip-hop dancing to protect them from the lizard president and his lizard world. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I knew even though I felt fine at the family’s home, I needed to leave…and I am so glad they knew they needed to leave later.

I asked the husband of the family I was staying with how to get to New Mexico through back roads. I crossed the Texas-New Mexico border barely made it to the bathroom [actually I didn’t] and had to stay two full days to get all of me back.

Here in Costa Rica, I had another paranormal event where I opened my eyes one night right into the startled face of what felt like a demonic being clearly surprised I could see it. I am not afraid of these strange moments. They are rare in my life. They used to be more frequent when I was young, but  I trained to ignore them so I could be about realms within which human beings could be as paradise-based or creation-based again.  But I also knew that at some point in human history, the otherworldly, primordial, cosmic realms that have been blocked off in the human registering of existence would open again. To be exact 2023 to the beginning of 2027.

To snapshot what unfolded these last 3 days – I could no longer stay where I was staying and had to leave because it was not where I belonged nor where I would influence on behalf of life already made choices. It is for every human being to choose their existence. I only work to support by request and where there is no request I am off duty and tend to the parameters of what takes care of life for me including me.

I ended up at my VERY favorite Turtle Lodge here in Ostional for two days. Then I was informed not to come back to where I had been and had no place to go. I had already rescheduled my flight to go home early, but I had one day, this one, with only 27,000 colones to my name, no USA dollars as I had thought someone was going to get those for me, and no place to stay. Then these precious people here found me a place and will take me there. And the same thing happened, only the second time in my life, my body rid itself of whatever it needed to rid itself of to keep me whole all night long.

I also have a community….a global cultural wisdom community that has my back and I have theirs. We ride things through together on behalf of what grants life and has us exist as whole. I started working to create a living field of Creation in 2014 for these times ahead. Kind of a collective ark.

This is where the Survival Wimpiness comes in. Last night I was really shaken when I realized I had no place to go, that I did not have any dollars and was not sure I could use my credit cards, and paying 23,000 of the only colones I have for a place they found for me leaving me only 4,000 colones. I was even afraid that my friend who shuttles people back and forth between the airport and here would not pick me up on Tuesday [stupid..really]. I still have to walk to the store this morning, shakey it might not be open and I may have to fast for a day. I am already fasting from 3-7 today until I am picked up tomorrow to get to the airport. I just can’t get my feet under me. Which is the important part. In our global wisdom community we say, we have to live this one through – our mental brain will not shield us from our own maturing in order to stay life-enhancing and life-generating as the changes in the weather, the economy, the health, as everything happens all around us. We can no longer live between our ears. We are living something new and need our consciousness to track it and yes, in survival-based moments, our nerves.

Was up all night working with my body and in between were clips of dreams that I didn’t realize until I got dressed this morning was an entire event.

“Fires everywhere, volcanoes erupting, human emotions tanking and going off the deep end in as the illusion of survival that has humanity harming themselves in thought, word, emotions, and deed for centuries…evil sucking the human soul for its own greed and transcendency…and…

…and Mother Earth laughing…”

“A young man moving with me as if in the shadows, like a fae, lanky…caught my attention…then many fairies jumping on me in bed laughing and tickling me and playing with joy that I could see them and they could see me seeing them…their energies consuming the fears and the worries…and instilling new emotions of well-being, body relaxation, light-heartedness…even now remembering they are here in the ethers with me though I can’t see them…I feel very silly being wimpy about going to the store only half a block away…even though I do not speak the language and embarrassed if my credit cards don’t work – “Get it? survival wimpiness” –  I can always ask these lovely people at Turtle Lodge to help me after all they are taking me to my new destination and the wimpiness comes up immediately around that. “Stay tuned!”

Then back to dreaming – Maui, then Italy, then the Ring of Fire, speaking in the primordial tongue… [revelation 8] and joy such joy! I could tell our puny understanding of this planet and her love for her creations had been undermined for millennia and with me She was not going to have it. I watched her spin her flames, spin her waters, spin her air, spin her earth…all a magical dance…and I remembered one of the reasons I was given the Creation Templates so long ago…with a vision…

…we ran up the mountains and the hills with the elephants and the dogs relaxed as the tsunamis came in; we had taken a train to see a friend when the earth fell beneath the cities; we knew it was our time and we knew it wasn’t. [there is a beautiful story about that in Maui-an older infirmed man, a healthy woman who works with the ocean and another neighbor, made it to the sea wall. He said to them, “Go live. Let me stay here and die.” They felt their need to live included him even after he was no longer physically with them.]

…and for me…I woke up laughing at the beauty of life listening to the very loud Latino family doing life next door to me and seeing the sun here in Costa Rica that is light like no other place I know…I knew I was going to have at least two hours before I had to face my survival wimpiness so I packed up and came out here on the platform amongst the crabs below to write down my dream which of course became so much more.

I am going to wait until Luis gets up and ask him what time the store opens and hope he tells me he will stop by with me on the way to my new abode…Darien Ostional Lounge…hum…and then I will see if I make my plane tomorrow…and I will be nervous and scared but then at least I will know I am doing my best in the face of my survival wimpiness….and that I am not alone strangling as others are at the border of betrayal, abandonment, and rejection…I am in paradise with my Beloveds.