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  1. Nicole
    12th May 2022 @ 11:33 am

    OMG—this makes so much sense! And I was just thinking of the depth phenomenon in my other post about my beloved. It just occurred to me while reading this that one of the possible reasons he separated from me is that he already had this existing depth of field with his family unit and community. And while he had it in our little dyad—and much richer and deeper than with his family—the breadth wasn’t there yet. It was too small and confined still; we haven’t been able to broaden it out beyond the two of us yet or even into the broader fields of our lives, like with livelihood.

    And there’s a certain security that comes with being connected to those broader fields; your “safe zone,” so to speak, is larger. And while his extended only throughout his small town in Ohio, it still was/is broader than the field between the two of us, no matter how deep and rich and magical that was. So it’s like the difference between your “safe zone” being a manhole-sized patch on your lawn (or even the whole manhold) vs. a whole town. From that perspective, his choice was obvious.

    So how do we broaden the field between us so that he can safely and confidently choose me?


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